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By now everybody's heard about the friction on the set of the remake of
Rubber Duck Riders. Legendary Malibu mat surfer and peerless thespian, Charlie Sheen, is rumored to be on the chopping block if his after-hours "partying with women" (his own, self-incriminating words!) doesn't come to an abrupt halt.
Surfmatters wanted to let him set the record straight. It's the least we could do for a denizen of the old Pacific Ocean Park beach raft rental stands. Charlie and I met up in the parking lot at Surfrider Beach this afternoon.
SM: What's happening, Charlie? Are you getting any mat waves?
Charlie: Dude, seriously? You're asking me if I'm getting any?
SM: Well yeah...getting any mat waves.
Charlie: Oh right, mat waves. Sure. Totally. Just the other evening we had like 50 million candle power worth of Klieg lights out on the point at Malibu for a night session. I actually got sunburned at 3 AM. I passed out drunk trimming between Second and First Point. Didn't wake up until I was about 10 feet from the pier. Then I hit the pier, and passed out again. Talk about an all nighter...
SM: Greenough used to surf Rincon on a mat at night all the time.
Charlie: Greenough's an amateur. He takes showers in the wake of my mat. That's how bitchin' I am.
SM: Any truth to the rumor that you're going to be replaced by John Stamos in the lead of the remake of
Rubber Duck Riders?
Charlie: Stamos is an amateur. His idea of a good time is smoking the exhaust from my Bentley. That's how bitchin' I am.
SM: The wild parties, the after hours liaisons with questionable women, the endless supply of new surf mats...is it any wonder that the brass over at Paramount have had it with you?
Charlie: The leaches at Paramount are amateurs. They think I'm on drugs. Yeah, I'm on a drug...it's called Charlie Sheen. That's how bitchin' I am.
SM: We heard you're building a new house on the point at Malibu just for your collection of surf mats.
Charlie: Is that what they're calling blonds these days? Surf mats? (Turns to his assistant.) Why didn't I get that memo? You're fired.
SM: Thanks for talking with us, Charlie...
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