It didn't take long for Malibu's Charlie Sheen to meltdown following an unprecedented 90 episode deal with FX for "Anger Management."
"We basically went down to Baja to celebrate my huge payday. We partied, rode our surf mats...then partied some more!" Charlie gushed to Surfmatters. "Then the whole thing went south..."
"Good metaphor, Charlie! But tell us the truth...you went down there to party, and you just tossed in the surf mat thing so we'd cover it on Surfmatters."
"Yeah, well, maybe a scosh. See, the whole mat deal has been essential to my re-hab image, so I like to keep it alive with the occasional shot of PR smack."
"So...no 4GF surf mats, no modern-day Charlie Sheen?"
"So how did Hiz Honor the Mayor get tied up in all this?"
"Tony Boy? What a character! Give him a cervesa and hang a 4GF medallion around his neck, and he turns into the mayor of Shit-Face-Ville!"
"There seems to be some discrepancy between you guys..."
"No way, Dude! We're both straight. Or at least, I was."
"OK, let me rephrase the question. You each have differing versions of what happened down in Cabo...what's the deal?"
"That's BS the tabs make up to sell papers!"
"It was in the LA Times..."
"See? I told ya! Let me make on thing clear, whatever Tony told them is true. And whatever I told them is also true. And if they're two completely different things, then they're both true, except the one which isn't and the one which is. Which would make either or both of us liars. Are you calling me a liar, after all the things you've done for me???"
"Sounds like there was a Three Stooges film festival going on while you were down there, Charlie!"
"Yeah, pretty stoked to see some of the classics up on the silver screen. Who knew Frankenstein could do silent comedy in Spanish?"
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