Dec 27, 2015

2015 Mat Surfing Awards !!!

2015 was a breakout year for mat surfing. But then again, so was 2014, 2013 and 2012. The culture of inflatable wave riding continues to explode, exponentially, year after year!

What better way to recognize mat surfing's impact than an award's show? Or at least, an awards blog posting...


Best New Word Of The Year:  "Matsplaining"

Simply defined as, "The overly wordy manner in which a mat surfer justifies a go-out to his or her Significant Other." The term 'matsplaining' first took hold along the California coast. Santa Cruz to be more specific. Steiny's house, to be laser accurate.

Not limited to the male of the specie, woman mat riders have embraced the combination of passion, selfishness, and bullshit known as 'matsplaining' as well!


Most Compelling TV Series:  "MAT MEN"

We all love following the savage manipulations of Matt Draper, as he runs rough-shod over an office full of land-locked lackeys in order to make to the shore before the sun drops...preferably with a beautiful blonde in tow!!!


Best Technological Advancement:  "Mat Recognition Software"

Ever been to the beach and wondered who was ripping on what make and model? Well those days of frustration are OVER! After years of development, software genius Mathew Puffin has developed the tools necessary to recognize -- and identify -- mats from over a thousand yards away!

Admittedly, the technology is still limited, as Mr. Puffin's software tends to focus on the more recreational mats currently available...but just look at this early batch of mats that were accurately ID'd !!!


Well done, sir!


Best Basic Cable Surf Commentary:  "Rachel Mattow

The center-left mat commentator had a stellar 2015, lambasting everything from SUPs to longboarders wearing leashes...and she did so on a nightly basis before a national audience!


Most Insightful Financial Advice:  "Mat Money"

Matt Kramer hit a home run with this latest money making strategy...selling 4GF stock at 2 cents a share, then shorting it when it hit 1 cent. He doubled his money, plowed the profits into more 4GF stock, and ended up with controlling interest. I for one welcome our new Wall Street overlord!


Most Progressive Social Movement:  "Matrosexual"

'Controversial' doesn't begin to describe the 2015 trend that everyone's talking about!

Some say it all started back in the 70's, when Fred Hemmings and an unidentified ABC announcer wore a matching outfits on air ...

 While others claim that "mat surfer vanity" had it roots going way back to the 30's...

 Regardless, our own Mister Dirk is credited with the revival of the concept in 2015...

Even Australians got in on the act, sprucing up for TV appearances with top end fashion gear...

And it's never too early to start!  This young mat surfer puts his best foot forward, sporting a two tone cap and jersey -- with a contrasting striped boardshorts -- all while causally bobbing in the surf on a 4GF...


Hoping your 2016 will be even better !!!

1 comment:

KiamaHighSchoolVox said...

This is great. Thanks for the joy.