Jan 31, 2018

From Rob


Plaza sunset full moon session...

Enjoy! It was amazing!

Super Stoked,

Jan 30, 2018

From Oily

Hey PG,

Hope this finds both you and the Clan all happy and healthy, well mate.

As you may have seen on the interweb highway place, I damaged, and then succeeded in repairing my 4GF Omni mat, “Dabolt.’ This was only made possible with your guidance and some handy hints from Guru Neal Cameron.

The bottom had two main large tears, 2 1/2" x 3" and a small 1” partial tear graze thing. After chatting with you and Neal, I thought it was doable.

After a good cleaning, it was a toss up of either try get masking tape inside on the back of the tear, as you suggested, or attempt Neal’s method of gluing a patch on the inside. I went with glue the patch inside also.

The tears were actually on the edge of weld at the attachment of bottom meets i beam. I used the wet suit glue and worked a treat.  I did get a bit over zealous with the glue, but it looks ok and has been proven 7 days after the crash…  haha.


The lads were impressed when I pulled it out Saturday morning for a slide at a new mat virgin break.

Thanks again for the advise and support you give us SCUMMbags in our endeavor to enjoy and share our stoke of mat riding.



From Rob


I went to the Plaza with Ryman and it was amazing...we surfed until there wasn’t any light left. I took pictures the first half of the session, but apparently I was so Stoked I never turned the Camera on, or the Battery was almost dead when I did 😂🤣.

Damn! I was hoping to send you some good pictures, but there will always be more Swell coming!


Jan 29, 2018

From Scott

Rob and Family

Hi Paul,

Sunday was the 1 year anniversary of my brother Rob’s passing while surfing Rights and Lefts. 
The entire family came together there to sprinkle his ashes and then surf and mat together. The two mats I brought (my third is on loan) were fought over as it was super low tide and almost too dangerous to board surf. We all got incredible waves and barrels. Both of my sons want mats now.

Jewel and I are off to Baja Friday for 2 weeks in search of whatever it is that draws us south...

Scott Rebstock

Jan 28, 2018

From Aussie Adam, Who Does Do Yoga

Adam, from the SCUMM consortium, reports the lads are geeked with the success of The SCUMM Book Of Yoga...

 Now, they've released their book on video tape!

Available on VHS, the SCUMM boys are looking to shatter the technological barrier of Australia's South Coast.

"We believe that just because our yoga program is rooted in the ancient way of the zen mat masters, there's no reason not to utilize the latest technology!" Adam gushed. "Some day, every home will have a video tape player connected to their colour TV...and when they do, we'll be ready!"

From Red-Blooded American Rob, Who Doesn't Do Yoga...



I surfed with Ryman the other day, and had some fantastic slides! I took a few pictures with my GoPro to show you what it looked like. Yeeeewwwwwww! I wish you could have enjoyed these with us. I surfed the Lotus SS and it did not disappoint. It was Cold, but extremely Fun!

I’m hooked on Barrels! Stay Stoked! Positive Vibes and Healing Energy my Friend!

Super Stoked,

Jan 26, 2018

From Sam

Hi Paul,

Bondi Surf Bathers Lifesaving Club will be holding an 80th year educational re-creation on 04 February 2018. Apparently, 200 people are going to be "rescued."

SLS Australia don't have it on their official calendar. Related, though, is the annual Stan & Basil Mac relay at Bondi Beach. Stan McDonald started Stan's Beach Hire providing, amongst other things, surfoplanes for beachgoers.

It was his son, Basil, who sent out the surfoplanes on Black Sunday. The Sydney Morning Herald noted Basil as one of the "men who have been mentioned officially for acts of bravery in risking their lives in raging surf to save drowning people" on the infamous Black Sunday in 1938, where five people drowned. The 75th anniversary of the relay was last year.  


Jan 24, 2018

The SCUMM Book Of Yoga

What do you get when you cross The South Coast Unadulterated Mat Men and Eastern Zen philosophy?

Nothing short of "Cultural Appropriation Gone Wild!"

The SCUMM boys have published their own yoga volume...which is designed to promote strength, flexibility, serenity, and the ability to snap back from a 36 hour bender in nothing flat!

Limited edition, hardback volume cover design: Dirk Brandts. (And by "limited," we mean it doesn't actually exist.)

Let's take a look at some of their colorfully named poses...


"Grin Like A Friggin' Idiot 'Til Your Butt Cheeks Are Sore!" 

This one's pretty much self explanatory. By smiling non-stop over the course of days/weeks/months, their facial muscles loose the ability to frown...resulting in a sunny disposition that's so odd, even fellow Aussies find it creepy!


"You Can Pick Your Friends, And You Can Pick Your Nose...So Why Can't You Pick Your Friend's Nose?"

New age, millenial-inspired yoga doesn't get any more sharing than this! The nose is an incredibly complex organ, and regular interior massage generates a feeling of well being. So why not "share" that glow of ecstasy with a friend? Even the toxic Australian male social code prohibited such unsavory behavior...until now!  Well done, Mates...


"Pant Like A Dog...Surf Like A Seal"

Dogs and seals, as we know, are from the same family of mammals. The main difference is seals surf a lot better than dogs. The best humans can do is stick their tongues out for 10, 30 second sessions, and hope the ''aquatic canine'' in them comes out. (As pointed out repeatedly throughout the book, licking one's own butt is an optional plus on the road to Nirvana.)


"Make Your Junk Great Again"

Stuff your bun huggers with anything available, giving the impression of ''Un-Presidented Genital Greatness.'' Running around half-naked in the cold also reinforces your delusion of youthful virility!


"Shaka, Mate!"

Along with several other willing participants, assume the body language of another culture. It develops a sense of community, a key factor in melting away cynicism when only 5 people live within a thousand mile radius...and they're all male matters who haven't bathed, worked, been sober, or gotten laid in 6 months.

Warning: This communal bonding technique may not resonate with non-believers...


"End-o Supreme-o"

Long forgotten by Yoga practitioners as a revitalizing miracle, rubbing one's face with beach sand has gotten a new lease on life...thanks to this move, developed by SCUMM quite by accident. The technique is simple: You ride your mat down a scruffy sand dune until the inevitable header results. Bonus ecstasy for a broken nose and a popped mat!


"Up Yer Arsehole!"

This move releases tension in one's forearms...the kind often associated with compulsive, ambidextrous wanking. (It's an affliction common among Australian males under the age of 97.)


"Take A Knee While Wearing Swim Fins"

A dumb move at best, a dangerous move at worst. The student assumes a crouching position that can easily be obtained, but impossible to rise from after holding for more than 15 seconds. Good for the glutes...bad if the tide's coming in. Great fun to watch from afar!


"Oh, Lookee Here! A New Friend to Play With!"

A must in shark-infested waters. This pose relieves the tension often associated with the realization that your life might end in 20 seconds.


 "Artificial Stupidity!"

In today's reality of "technological-doom-just-around-the-corner," this one's leading edge! While "deep thinkers" fret about the threat posed by artificial intelligence, the SCUMM crowd has flipped the script, and attacked the problem head on. "Acting Like A Twit" is a natural Zen counterpoint to our inevitable A.I. destruction. These blokes have it down to a science!


"Jazz Hands...SCUMM Style"

"SCUMM" and "Style" rarely go hand-in-hand. OK, they never go hand-in-hand. But the lads from Down Unda have the answer! They describe it in their book as, "Al Jolson meets Jacques Cousteau, with a dash of Timothy Leary thrown in for good measure." Sobriety not required, making it a SCUMM favorite!

(One proviso: You have to be over 60 to get their references to Al Jolson, Jacques Cousteau or Timothy Leary.)


"No Surf? No Problem!"

A SCUMM original! The surf-starved mat rider pours a massive glass of wine, gulps it down almost to the bottom, then dips their index finger in the remaining nectar...then runs said finger around the lip of the glass. The resulting "song of vibrations" generates a feeling of oneness with the universe, as well as nearly surfable microwaves! By the 4th glass, the skilled practitioner has no idea who they are, or why they bother to surf at all.


"Zen Photography!"

Nothing says "SCUMM Zen" like banging off dozens of surf shots while looking the other way! The accomplished master of this technique later scrolls through the images in the lotus position with their eyes closed, then forwards them to Surfmatters...where we dutifully genuflect to our mat riding overlords, and post them for all to see!


Jan 23, 2018

Rob's Birthday...Continued



All pictures where taken by my very talented friend Chris!

That’s one of the best ways I’ve ever started a Birthday!

Super Stoked,

Jan 22, 2018

SoCal/NoCal/NoFlo Reports

First off, LA's own Surfsister, who manages the burgeoning 4GF Instagram page, has pushed our followership to over 2000 as of this morning! Not the 133 million or so that the likes of Selena Gomez command, but pretty impressive nonetheless. Well done!


And up north in Santa Cruz, "Uncle Steiny" filed this report about the weekend's surf action...

"The Santa Cruz report: great waves! Perfect mat waves. Horrific crowd. Intermediate aggressive longboarders. Got three nuggets including one perfect mid sized wave that kept opening up all the way to the statue. Alas, I blew a set wave but such things happen. Especially to me! :) There was another matter out. A log/glider kid who is just starting to mat. He was on a fatty. And a 3/4 grown elephant seal. Scared the shit out of everyone. Hope you found an edge or corner to work. Loved the women’s mat march post."


This classic sequence is of Tom Riley...going for it up north!


Meanwhile, in North Florida...


Chris sent me this snap last night of my Birthday! It was an amazing day! Thanks for the amazing crafts! Yeeeewwwwww!

Super Stoked,