Jan 30, 2022

4GF Fatty Saves Puerto Rican Matter's Manhood !!!

 

Hello Paul, hope you’re doing fine.

Remember the last Fatty I ordered the day I was a dumbass and left my 10 yr old Fatty at the beach (could have been older than 10 yrs)? This was July of last year… I have been working a lot and being irresponsible with myself, mostly bodyboarding or longboarding a few times a month, not acceptable due to the fact that I live in a Caribbean island with super consistent surf. Long story short I hadn’t used the new mat until last night, here’s the story…

So I was showing a property on the South of the island to a client from California to whom I sold a beach property in 2017 and has become a good friend. Met with him at a very popular break that usually breaks during the Summer but was somehow chest high and peeling, this is a left hand point reef with a friendly barrel that is probably one of the most perfect waves in the island. It’s also super shallow past a point where it’s unsurfable although it fools you that it is because the wave starts peeling perfectly over inches of water until it gets to the proper take off spot and keeps on peeling. Take off any deeper than that and you’re in for some fire coral treat…

The wave was a bit crowded to my liking so I decided to go show my friend the property and come back at last light to surf it alone at night, I have done this before many times. Well I paddle out alone, buddy didn’t want to surf, and when I get to the wave it goes flat on a lull but I could see a perfect wave (at least the white water and pitch black wall) breaking deeper and further out than I was sitting at. That was my mistake and I am sure you’re already imagining what happened… I took off on the deepest wave of the day (well it was at night)… probably the deepest wave anyone has ever taken off at this spot… I drop down, set my line and proceed to ride the pocket for about 5-6 seconds… all of the sudden I see a bump in my left peripheral vision, I thought it was my buddy who finally decided to join me duckdiving (did I mention I use glasses while on land, nearsighted)… it was not him, I realized this as a barrel section sucked and it seemed I wasn’t going to make it because I was super deep so I decided to go around, and boy was I deep… all of the sudden I start seeing more of my buddy duck diving right and left of me, but it wasn’t him and his clones, it was coral heads LOL! That’s when I thought, shit, here we go...

 All of the sudden I feel a coral hit my mat exactly bellow where my nuts are positioned, needless to say my new mat ripped and started to quickly deflate but it saved my balls LOL! I started to do the shallow water fingertip paddle in inches of water and went over probably a dozen of coral heads before getting to deeper water. I only grazed the coral with the left side of my right knee and my left thigh, no cuts but very itchy. Tried blowing some air into the mat, caught a good wave to shore with the little air that was left and called it a day (night).

When I got to shore my mat was water logged and had a 5” gash on the bottom exactly at the spot where your nuts go when in trim. I changed to my dry clothes had a Medalla beer and drove home to my family with a psychotic smile on my face.
 
Here a photo of my buddy Tim who didn’t paddle out at night… you can say I managed to grab this lobster from the reef while I was struggling to find deep water LOL!
 
Again hope you’re doing fine and I am always a fan of your blog.
 
Antonio

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Family jewels are intact : )

David from Philly said...

Glad you are intact! Hope to visit PR and connect again. Currently in Costa Rica with another Mat rider and a Paipo rider. Having a lot of fun even through the conditions are a bit weaker this year due to La Nina etc. Had some good Pargo caught just off shore for dinner last night. All is good.